A Clichéd word right?
One or the other people come across this word in one way or the other. This is thought to be something of a very light topic to discuss on. Let’s say if we ask people what love is? There comes up different definitions like it's beautiful, it's so many mixed emotions, it's out of the world, it's like loving someone other than your parents, it's about the spark that’s between us, and so on. Well, I can’t comprehend on the definitions people come up with when they find this new feeling blossoming up in them and then explaining this unexplainable feeling with a mere joining of different adjectives, and astonishingly every adjective combination sum up to be a definition of love. And when this question comes up to those who are heartbroken and all mourn loving environment, have all melancholic meanings of love to pile on. Some of them come up as it’s painful, it’s heart- wrenching, it’s the worst of everything, no one should fall in love and so on. See how it changes in a jiffy?
People are ready to appreciate love or blame love, saying that it’s the one which ruins us or the one which enhances us. But what is love? is it really the feeling that’s hurting us? Is it not about people?
For answering all these questions we need to dig deeper into it. First, we need to summon those 2 words; good love and bad love. Good love is precisely the normal one, but bad love is what we need to focus in here today. Actually, there’s nothing like bad love, it’s basically what love isn’t.
Confused? Let me explain. Say, you love a person with all your heart but that person isn’t happy with you, but you don’t let them go. It’s not about the small habit problems which can be solved by sitting together, but it’s about not being compatible. But you say that you can’t live without them and you love them, you can’t let them go. Ask yourself, are you doing right? Is this love?
Another example we can come up with is, you love a person and try to show off as the person they want their other half to be, which in real life you aren’t, so when time comes, conflicts up between you both, and eventually they fall in love with someone else, but you make sure to prove them wrong to make them be stuck to you. You say you are the right person for them because you came first in their life. Sit and ask, sounds cool?
Let me tell you. Letting go something you love, doesn’t mean you lost your love, it means your love is much more vast than them. What’s that love when your other half is suffocating to death? Love is not limited to the presence or absence of certain people in your life, it stays forever. You know what actually hurts; it’s the attachments that hurt us. Love prevails Try loving without expectations as our parents did. Let your love breathe, not die.
That’s one kind of it.
Another kind is love out of loneliness. I’ll pop up an example to you. Say your boyfriend/girlfriend disrespects you and your thoughts, but still you don’t say anything because you believe you love them and so does they. Is the relationship in the right path?
Or say you know they are doing something wrong in their life, but you stay lip-zipped to that as uttering anything about it will lead to arguments, or at worse, break up. Tell me does it at all gives a positive vibe?
In such kind of relationship, without a stand for yourselves and their life, you’re selling off your self-respect, your values, your decision making capability, in order to get a hand to hold. The fear of being left out envelopes you and you go with the flow. But this doesn’t work in your long run. You forget your morals of life. Can you ever think of a future with them? You have the right to choose your child’s parent and you want to give such a parent to your child? I’m just giving you an example, there might be many relatable to such lines assembling in your head. Don’t trade your values and self-respect in exchange for some moments of togetherness, it leads to nothing but killing your confidence. And if you’re lonely within, and taking other’s help to mend you, how can you even think to complete your better half? Love is about giving.
Another issue that pops up out of nowhere, saying that they aren’t ready for a relationship, or fear of giving a commitment, or there’s no spark left and so on. And what answer to you have? That maybe they need time, I understand, people are sometimes hesitant to make decisions, obviously, it’s about life, it’s okay, but then they are ready to do all couple kinds of stuff without any tags? Well, that concerns me now. And if you’re in such a stupid game of just being fooling around, then you need to boycott it.
And yes, about the spark; have you seen married couples, the way they are being together, year after year. They don’t complain about the loss of spark. People stay together out of love, care, concern. For God sake, you're choosing a partner for life, not a sparking tool. There may come up fights, or arguments, but leaving off saying there’s no spark left is just not the way around. Get your life straight. They are in your life as to support you, enhance you, not to spark you. But what you have to say? You’ll ignite the spark again to lure them back to you.
Guys that don’t work in real life. THAT’S NOT LOVE!
Now that you have some idea about what love isn’t, I’m sure you can decipher now what love is.